When Morning Dawns
by Etimire T
Summary: Still kicking after having died one, two, no... three times, Sherlock finds himself a captive of a certain evil Time Lady. Damaged, Sherlock is in agony anytime he tries to use his newfound abilities. On top of that, someone is chasing him through time and space, and it seems that even with Missy's help, he may never make it back to John. Book 2 in the "When Death Flees" series.
1. Life on Mars

Disclaimer: I don't own Sherlock or Doctor Who and if you thought I did then you seriously need to rethink some things. I mean, I'm not getting another season of Doctor Who for an entire year. Do you seriously think I'd make us wait so long if I was in charge? Um, no. And don't even get me started on Sherlock... There's my rant for you, lol.

AN: Hi Guys! So this is Book 2 in the When Death Flees series. If you haven't read When Death Flees, I'd suggest clicking over to my profile and getting caught up. Although you could read this as stand-alone, you're probably going to be totally confused. If you're stopping around from book one, congratulations, you found book two! I am so excited to get this going! Thanks for sticking around for so long!

* * *

 **When Morning Dawns**

 **1**

 **Life on Mars**

 _Humanity is a tricky term. What is it that makes us human? Is it the skin that covers us? Our beating heart? Is it the exhilaration after a roller coaster? Is it the smile and laugh shared by friends? Is it intellect? Morality?_

 _It seems I am introspective when unable to do anything else but think._

 _Back to morality._

 _Can you have humanity without being human?_

 _If humanity is morality- if it is knowing that your actions have consequences, and knowing right and wrong, then you could easily be something other than a human while still having humanity. An extraterrestrial, for example, could know right and wrong._

 _As could a machine. Right?_

 _Having humanity is… not merely existing as a human, but having knowledge of good and evil. Can a machine know good and evil?_

 _If it is taught, surely._

 _Or if it is more than a typical machine._

I wished I could click off these thoughts but when I was alone at night listening to the laughs of the madwoman on the far side of our little camp, I couldn't help but fall deeper and deeper into contemplation that frightened me.

Shutting my eyes, the afterimage of the fire danced on the back of my eyelids. With my hands tied to a pole, and my legs currently numb from some sort of drug Missy fed me, there was no escape from this jungle.

Given the foliage and position of the stars, I guessed I was somewhere in India. The humidity hugged my chest and the mosquitoes were reluctantly retiring as night fell. Missy, my captor, seemed to find it funny that I was covered in mosquito bites. "Bet you weren't getting bites when you weren't an itty-bitty human, silly." A double negative. How wonderful…

She thought I was a TARDIS. She had said so on many occasions, even pressing my hand to her chest to prove that she was a Time Lord, and, therefore, knew what she was talking about.

I remembered this Time Lord, or lady, rather, from the Doctor's now-flickering memories when I first glimpsed into his mind. They were… friends-ish? Siblings, perhaps? They were constantly trying to kill each other.

I imagine Moriarty and I would have turned out similarly if we'd lived for centuries and the idiot hadn't shot his brains out. I curled away from that memory in disgust. It's not every day someone commits suicide while literally holding your hand.

That seemed like so long ago but in reality, it had only been a few weeks.

To be fair, they were quite busy weeks. First, I woke up in a morgue, having accidentally committed suicide. Apparently I don't die easily. After that, everything was a whirlwind of other strange phenomena seemingly sparked by my impromptu return to the land of the living. I ran into the Doctor, who had met me later in my time stream, and we ended up falling headfirst into the plot of a cannibalic alien. Then I died again.

And again.

And now I was here, with no way to tell John and the Doctor that I had survived the explosion that brought down said-cannibal.

"Hey, ikky Tardi, want a slice?" Missy plopped down in front of me. Her hair was long and chestnut and fell gracefully down her shoulders. She was still in the tattered suit she must have worn during her regeneration, and she held out a slice of something that looked like a cantaloupe. With a grin, she did not wait for my response and instead suffered the sweet thing in my mouth. "There you go, sweetheart." She cleaned my face with a handkerchief from nowhere and I resisted spitting in her pretty little face. Her mouth quipped up, and she leaned forward conspiratorially. "Want to know a secret, Tardi?"

"Not particularly."

Missy laughed, far too loud and then her voice dropped to a dangerous whisper. "Twelve isn't primary."

I blinked. "What?"

"Never mind, dear. You were much more intelligent when you were a machine, you know."

I clenched my jaw and Missy giggled. "Oh? Does that bother you, Tardi? That you're a machine?"

Instead of answering, I glared at her steadily. "Are we done?"

"Absolutely not. What else am I supposed to do in the middle of nowhere but talk to you until you're better, yeah?"

And…

There was the other issue.

I was stuck here because I couldn't travel out. When I escaped from the explosion, (not even sure how that happened) something ripped in me. Not psychically, but it was painful enough that I dreamed I'd been shot through the head.

But now I was stuck, unable to find that spark in my mind that would be my release. It was quite painful to even search for it. Last time I tried, I nearly blacked out from the agony.

A mental wound. Didn't even know that could happen like this. Then again, this is me after all, and the normal rules don't seem to apply.

I let my eyes glass over and stared sightlessly over her shoulder. Irritated, Missy stood and kicked me without much malice. She was in her mid- twenties, if I had to guess, and full of fire. "Don't worry, sweet. We're gonna fix you up. Then we'll fly right out of here. Maybe find a peaceful planet to decimate."

For a moment, Missy sounded almost motherly, and if she was actually concerned about me and was offering a soothing activity.

What kind of maniac was she?

"Get back here you naughty boy!"

Great.

I stumbled through the foliage, my legs still uncooperative because of Missy's numbing serum. My headache never seemed to cease, and I tried to ignore it.

The good thing was I could move, and that was enough to run with.

The leaves whipping my cheeks as I sped, I picked up my pace. Missy was a lot faster than she looked. Risking a glanced back, I caught a glimpse of a tattered black suit. Yes, quite fast.

Tripping on a root, I scrambled and kept going. She couldn't run after me forever.

I spotted an overhanging branch ahead and reached up. Grunting, I jumped and wrapped my fingers around the slippery branch. I threw myself upwards around the branch with surprising ease and crouched above it, shocked that that had actually worked. Then, shaking away my surprise, I scrambled up the tree. A monkey squawked at me but I ignored it and placed foot after foot higher.

She could climb after me, surely. But I doubted she would see me up here.

Stilling, I tried to quiet my ragged breath. I shut my eyes and breathed through my nose while my heart thumped in my throat. A moment later, leaves rustled and steps grew near. I looked down and there she was.

Her hair was askew and she was breathing hard, but she still had enough air to let out a sad sort of shout. "Come back!" Missy screamed. She was counting under her breath and clapped her hands in a strange rhythm I had heard on her lips several times before. Ba-ba-ba-BA, ba-ba-ba-BA. Over and over. Slowing to a walk beneath me, she shuddered and I could see it from twenty feet above.

I stayed as still as I could.

Suddenly, Missy went quiet. It was then I noticed the gun in her hand.

Fantastic.

Slowly, Missy looked up. For the life of me, I couldn't discern why. The drumming died on her lips instantly and something seemed to lift from her shoulders.

"Playing hide-seek, Tardi?" She giggled and the anger in her eyes faded once they latched on me. Great. With perfect sanity, she said, "You idiot, get down here. Your legs are going to give out in two minutes. The last inject will take effect."

I blinked and licked my lips nervously. If I suddenly couldn't walk while up in a tree, there might be a slight problem.

But I was sure not about to climb back down to my captor.

Missy rolled her eyes. "Fine. You made me." With that, she lifted the gun and fired. I tried to dodge, but something invisible landed on my chest and tugged me through the air. I somersaulted through past branches and that monkey.

With surprising gentleness, the pull set me down on the floor in front of Missy. I had not even brushed the leaves as I was pulled down. "Neat trick," I grunted, irritated.

"I think so too." She flashed a grin. Taking a small vial out of her pocket, she grabbed my hand and pressed the liquid into my wrist before I could even think to react. "A counter agent. Now I won't have to drag you," she explained quickly.

I could feel my limbs, but I was still stuck to her side because of that stupid gun. Glancing at the weapon, I noted the empty canister on the top. That was her last shot, whatever weapon that was. My head pulsed with pain but I didn't react.

Pursing her lips sadly, she tucked the gun in her waist and began walking back to the camp. The pull in my chest forced me forward so I followed grudgingly.

Fifteen minutes later, we were back to our little camp. A small fire pit, a tent-like covering for Missy, and a spot on the ground where I had been captive. She'd nicked her supplies from a nearby town and had been staying out here for several months. According to her, she did something that caused her to spit out in this universe, and she'd regenerated as she fell from the sky.

I wondered what she'd done. The Doctor's memories had become more and more blurry as my headaches grew worse.

Instead of forcing me to sit, numb-legged on the dirt spot like before, Missy left me standing near the fire. With that same sad quiet, she went into her tent and crawled out again with a blanket, tarp, and a rope.

I raised an eyebrow questioningly but Missy ignored me. Instead, she picked up some long sticks and busily made a lean-to- like structure which she covered with a tarp. She then stuffed the blanket inside and placed her hands on her hips in satisfaction. Her eyes darted to me nervously.

What did she want?

"There," she said finally when I did not react. She gestured at the lean-to. "For you."

"Oh." I gave her a small smile. She seemed so very childish sometimes. "Treating me better won't make me stay."

She shifted her weight and a spark of fear flitted through her eyes. Swiping a stray hair behind her ear, she shrugged. "Yes, but I can't numb you forever. And it's safer for you this way anyhow." Why did she care again?

Quickly, Missy stepped forward and grabbed my hand. Surprised, I didn't resist her pull into the lean-to. Crouched inside with me, she crossed her legs and stuck out her tongue in concentration as she tied my ankle to the tree. "Still can't have you run, though, right?"

I stayed silent and the pull on my chest faded. The gun's effects must be fading. But I was tied expertly to a tree with a knot I had never seen before in my life.

"It's a self-tying knot," Missy offered cheerfully. "It keeps tying itself over and over again when you try to undo it. With a smile, she patted me on the cheek and shuffled backward out of the lean-to. "Time to sleep, Sherlock."

I peered at her curiously. That was the first time she'd called me by my actual name. "Goodbye, Missy."

"What do you think?" Missy asked, throwing her arms up and twirling in a circle for the full effect. She was wearing a burgundy skirt with a suit jacket of the same color. She jabbed the ground with a black umbrella and had a little flowery hat perched on the side of her head. Where had she gotten all of that? It was horribly impractical for a jungle.

"I think you could start a Mary Poppins club. You and Mycroft."

Missy blinked at me, apparently having no idea who Mary Poppins was. She instead latched onto the more familiar name. "Mycroft. Is that your brother? Like in the stories?"

I nodded and swatted a fly away.

"... He thinks you're dead right now."

Instantly, I snapped my gaze to hers. "I doubt it. He is quite capable when he gets off his lazy arse."

"But even he couldn't possibly find you."

I glared at her but the Mistress wasn't perturbed. Instead, she sighed and sat down next to me. The manic delusion died from her eyes. It was happening more often now and I wondered why. She stuck out her lip. "I have a brother too."

"I've met him."

And I had. The Doctor gave me an adequate description of his naughty sibling while we were trapped in a closet.

Missy looked at me with surprise. "I believe you." and then suddenly spiteful, "The Doctor is always getting his hands on things that aren't his."

"You do realize I don't belong to you, Missy? I'm not one of your toys."

Missy snorted dismissively. "The whole world is my toy, Sherlock Holmes. That includes you. Besides," She smirked and poked me in the chest. "you chose me."

I raised an eyebrow incredulously. "To be perfectly clear, Missy, I would never choose you."

Missy's eyes met mine and maybe they looked sad. I don't know. "But you did. Back when you and I weren't hiding. Before the war. I was so young… We traveled the stars, you and me."

"You're insane."

Missy huffed. "Unfortunately."

Missy said that I was a TARDIS once. Fine. Perhaps I was. As much as it frightened me to admit it, it was a very logical conclusion. It took me several weeks of stewing to accept that.

But… her TARDIS?

No. I would never consent to travel with a maniac. Not someone like her, leaving smoke and dust in her wake.

But maybe…

No.

That left only a few options. Either I had 'chosen' her (whatever that meant) and had been letting her loose on the universe, something I found quite unlikely. Or she had forced me along.

Or she was stranded and needed me. She could be completely lying altogether and happened to stumble across a former TARDIS without memories of his past (oh, I hated that thought). I wouldn't put it past her to take advantage of the situation.

But looking at her now, her eyes a sad sort of confusion, I wondered how much of Missy was throttled under insanity. She seemed to care for me.

Which did not make any sense at all. Had I seen something beneath all of the bravoes before?

What if she was mine?

"Missy?"

"Hmm?"

"I want to go home."

Missy scowled and stood, brushing herself off. "You're already home, you idiot." With a sigh, she cocked her head and looked at me curiously. Her piercing eyes seemed to peel me back layer by layer. What did she see? Did I want to know?

If John was here, he'd know what to do. He'd know what her expression meant. He'd be able to find some kind of humanity in her. But would John find humanity in me when I broke her hearts?

* * *

AN: Woo Hoo! There's the first chapter! If you haven't noticed, I love Missy. She is literally so fun to play with. Anyway, leave a **review** and tell me what you think!

So I decided in this story that Missy is the Doctor's sister/brother (you know what I mean). That's not really cannon but, shoot, this is fanfiction and I do what I like.


	2. Run, Naughty Boy

2

Run, Naughty Boy

" _Boys aren't supposed to know how to tie a bow tie. Otherwise their girls can't fix it for them." Mary smirked. She wore a seductive black dress covered by a plush red coat. With crossed arms, she leaned against the bathroom door frame. Her boyfriend's eyes flicked to her. He wore a suit with a smart bow tie, and he smiled from beneath a blonde mustache._

" _Sherlock taught me."_

 _Mary laughed, albeit sadly, "Naughty boy."_

" _Always."_

I jerked awake, my heart pounding, with no idea where I was. My head ached. I could feel a wool blanket beneath me and the damp air spinning raggedly in and out of my lungs.

Oh. Yes. Here.

I fell backwards onto the blanket, hoping I had not awaken Missy. However, I was out of luck. A moment later, fabric shifted and Missy peeked through the opening of the lean-to. Her eyes were owl-like in the darkness. "A bad dream," she said.

I hesitated to respond. "No, just a dream. A vivid one, but not… no, not bad."

John. I'd dreamed about John and Mary.

Missy squinted at me and spoke matter of factually. "Your eyes are glowing,"

I blinked. "Really?"

"Don't forget whatever dream you had," she said with a sharp nod. "It might be important." Missy reminded me of Luna Lovegood sometimes. (Yes, I've read that book. Or rather, all seven of them). Without further questioning, she disappeared, and I heard her enter her tent. It seemed the Doctor's boundless energy was not a species-wide condition. Missy slept just as much as I did.

Then again, I don't sleep very often.

I frowned. When I first met her, Missy would have pestered me until I told her the dream. She would have been up restlessly, tapping her fingers in that continuous four-noted beat.

 _Ba-ba-ba-BA._

But now she slept.

Why was she different?

I waited for a long while until the night was silent and then I reached for the tie on my ankle. I'd nicked a sharp stone earlier that week, and this was a good a time as any to continue trying to saw through the rope keeping me here. I'd tried undoing the knot but every time I would only make it tighter. Missy would pout for hours when she saw. It really disappointed her when I tried to escape. Maniac.

Careful not to wake the Time Lady, I sawed silently. The rope was soon hot under my hands, and it took twenty-two minutes (exactly) to cut myself free. Jerking apart the last few strands, I smiled and my heart jumped in elation.

I could leave. Right now. Without hesitation, I stood quietly. I'd need to be very fast to get away before Missy noticed I was gone. Weak from such a long captivity, and probably from whatever mental injury I had sustained, I wobbled a bit. My head pounded and I screwed my eyes shut against the pain for a moment. What was wrong with me? Once the pain had receded, I glanced across the camp and through the open door of her tent. I froze, but she was asleep. With a small smile, I looked down at her. She looked young in her sleep. With her hand beneath her cheek, she was almost childlike.

"I _am_ sorry," I whispered.

And then I melted into the shadows.

I was going to get away. Find John. Find the Doctor. If only my head wasn't pounding like a hammer on an anvil.

Moving silently through a dense, muddy, bug-filled Indian jungle is as hard as it sounds. I tripped on an upturning root and barely caught myself on a tree, only to jerk back from a poisonous looking plant. Glow-eyed creatures peered at me from above, watching my struggle.

Eventually, I realized how fruitless this was.

Why hadn't I thought to remember which direction Missy took when she went to get supplies? Had I not learned my lesson last time?

I had no idea where I was going, or even which way was North. The sky was obscured by rain clouds. Groaning, I sat down on a large fallen tree and scrubbed my face with my hands. My head was pierced with odd knives of pain at random now, and I tried staying very still to keep it from hurting. No good.

I winced, and my thoughts turned back to my captor. What about Missy? What would happen to her if I left her in the jungle without a way out?

I banished the thought immediately. She was a Time Lord. She could take care of herself.

And I shouldn't care about the crazy woman anyway.

A crunching step sounded from behind me, and I whirled to my feet, hands extended to… I don't know, slap it? This turned out to be a mistake because I was rewarded with another stab of pain through the back of my eyes. I wobbled again and caught myself on a tree.

Then I registered her. "Oh." I rasped. "It's you." I wasn't particularly afraid, disappointed maybe, but not really surprised. Now that I was free and conscious, and she didn't have any more of that strange weapon, I doubted she could restrain me like she had before. Then again, if this ruddy headache kept up...

"I'm not stupid, Sherlock," Missy murmured. She'd hiked her skirts up to her knees so she could keep up with me. "I knew you'd escape eventually." Her eyes were wide and wild like a doe caught in the headlights.

What exactly was I supposed to say here? "You're cleverness is astounding," I settled with. "I can't stay with you, Missy. There are issues I need to resolve." My stomach clenched uneasily. What was that? Guilt?

I did not have time for a bout of Stockholm Syndrome.

"You can't leave," she said so quietly I almost didn't hear, panic flashing in her eyes.

"Really? And you are going to stop me?"

The look on her face was most definitely afraid now. Was it an act? I couldn't say.

"No. I can't. I-I can't stop you."

"Oh, good, then we are in agreement."

She tried to speak but her tongue stumbled and suddenly she was mumbling that beat again. Her fingers twitched. That abominable drumming. "Ba, ba, ba, _Ba._ Ba, ba, ba, _Ba, ba, ba-"_ I hated that sound. I hated the way it made her scream and jump and clap like a puppet.

Who would do such a thing to someone? What had happened to make her this way?

Without thinking about it, I grabbed her hands and pressed them together to keep her from clapping. "Hey. Hey, it's alright. Don't do that. Don't do that, okay?" Missy's eyes wandered somewhere behind me but my hands seemed to pull her back down. She gulped and her gaze sharpened. I released a breath. "There you are."

Missy blinked at me and she suddenly exhaled. "It's not fair," she whispered.

"What's not?"

"The drums. I thought maybe I was rid of them. But..."

I frowned. "The drums. What's that?"

"I'm crazy," she croaked. "They're just in my head. Over and over and-" Her eyes went wild again.

"Don't." I growled, tightening my grip, and she took a deep breath.

"Sorry."

Cocking my head, I looked at her curiously. She was afraid I would leave because… "It goes away when I'm here," I said in realization. "That's why you're so afraid of me leaving."

Missy nodded and clenched her jaw. "When we traveled, the drums were there. They were always there. But now…" Her eyebrows drew together in confusion. "It's not so bad if you're around. It's… I didn't realize how…" she trailed off and shuttered. I didn't release her hands lest she start clapping. "I've done horrible things, Sherlock."

I pursed her lips, not sure I believed her guilt was legitimate. She could be manipulating me. It was the most likely conclusion.

Or she really could not control her madness when I was gone.

I rolled the thought over in my mind and tucked it away for further evidence.

I sighed. "I'm sorry, Missy."

Instantly, Missy jerked back from me. "No!" she shouted. "If you leave I'll- I'll… I don't know what I'll do! Don't you see? I'll only remember after!"

I stepped back from her rage and terror, feeling it pulse from her. Suddenly, a sharp pain in my mind nearly brought me to my knees.

I gasped involuntarily and Missy instantly went silent. She rushed forward and kept me from falling over completely. "Something is wrong," she murmured. "What's wrong?" The change in her temperament was just as startling as the light touch on my shoulders.

"I don't know. It's in my head," I rasped, another strike of pain ripping apart my mind. "I hate not knowing."

"I know." Missy bit her lip. "It's taking you away from me," she whispered.

I blinked up at her, realizing I was on the ground. "What?"

"Hush," Business-like, she shifted her skirts out of the way and placed her hands on either side of my head. Instantly the pain receded. "I'll make this as easy for you as I can." she said miserably.

The pain now not all consuming, I was able to think. Why was she keeping the pain back? "Why?" I said, "Why are you helping me? It does not benefit you." Another wave of pain and I screwed my eyes shut. Missy pressed her fingers harder against my temples and it fell away again.

When I opened my eyes, she gave a small laugh, like I was being ridiculous. "Because I'm your Time Lord, Sherlock."

The pain came again but I kept my eyes open and I could feel her sadness and fear and desperation like it was my own.

The world began spinning, and I knew I was traveling. Somewhere. The universe was paper thin, and I could rip right through it.

Just as I fell, I made a spontaneous decision and grabbed Missy's wrist.

We spun into the abyss.

* * *

 _ **AN: Hello! Sorry about the wait and the shortness of this chapter. The next one is considerably longer. I forgot to mention last time, Missy is much younger in this story than she is when we see her with 12. She's just regenerated and had time to age when that all happened. Anyhow, leave a**_ **REVIEW** _ **. What do you think so far? See you next week!**_


	3. Curiouser and Curiouser

3

The Potato, the Lizard and the Maid

I hate not being in control. Like, it makes me feel physically sick. This was a new level of _what the heck is happening?_ Not to mention, what on Earth possessed me to take Missy along?

We tumbled into a lake.

Which was great, really. Great. (That was sarcasm right there, by the way.)

We'd appeared a few feet above the water so I only got a glimpse of a moonlit shore before my breath was stolen by the tricky water. It swallowed me whole and twisted me in its depths.

Oh, and did I mention that suddenly I didn't know how to swim because my head was splitting in half and I was pretty sure drowning was a nice alternative to the pain I was feeling.

I sunk deeper and deeper into the murky abyss, hands curled around my skull to keep the pieces together. Hopefully Missy wouldn't kill whoever lived around here while I recovered from this…

However, something snagged the fabric of my shirt and pulled me up with a strength that baffled me. But there was no way I could help this along because if I let go of my head it would fall into pieces and that would be really disgusting. My rescuer wasn't going to be able to pull me up and they seemed to realize this.

They stopped swimming and instead switched their grip to the sides of my face.

Oh.

Missy.

I opened my eyes and saw her blurry form through the water. Then my head glued back together, which was nice. She was holding back the pain again, and slowly, she let go. The pain returned but it was bearable. My throat clawing up itself for oxygen, I swam to the surface and came up with a gasp. A moment later, Missy popped up next to me.

She was grinning like the Cheshire Cat and I found the energy to roll my eyes. I coughed and my voice came out like a wheeze. "Oh, don't look so smug."

We swam to the shore and soon waded out, our shoes making loud squeaking noises in the mud. Finally far enough from the water, (it was a river, not a lake, apparently) Missy collapsed onto some grass and coughed repeatedly. I dropped next to her and shook out my hair.

We were silent for a moment, trying to catch our breaths, and suddenly I heard a soft sound. Missy began to cough and laugh all at once. I met her eyes, expecting to see insanity seated in them. But she was perfectly sane, it seemed.

I blinked at her as she continued to laugh. "What?"

She snorted and waved my question away. Her hair was completely untied now, she was missing her shoes, and I wondered how she swum in that heavy dress. "Y-you almost killed us," she chuckled. With that, she dropped backwards on the grass and fell to more chuckling. "R-ridiculous."

I smirked, and looked up. There was no one around. Some gas lights lit up a stone bridge crossing the river, and, in the distance, city lights twinkled. Where were we?

Carefully, I stood. Satisfied when the pain in my head did not return, I wrung out the front of my shirt and peered up the road. Well, we didn't appear to be in India any more.

Actually… I glanced down at the dirt, crouched, and held up a piece. I sniffed it, noting the look Missy was giving me. Like _I_ was the crazy one.

But I had to be crazy because I knew this dirt. Very well. I did a study on it once (yes, I know you don't want to know) What were the chances?

I gave a short laugh. "London."

"What?"

"This is London." I stood and spun in a circle, arms outstretched. Then I frowned. "Somewhere around it, at least, seeing that I don't recognize this place."

Missy opened her mouth and closed it. "Well, yes. I could have told you that."

Turning, I cocked my head in question, and she pointed past me to the bridge. Under a flickering gas light was a large metal sign nailed to the bridge.

 _Welcome to London, Weary Traveler_

Except… I came closer, hearing Missy behind me, this wasn't right. It couldn't be right.

I recognized the sign. It was on the inland side of the city... in a museum.

And it was certainly not this shiny. Running a finger down the edge, I noted the gleam and pursed my lips.

"Maybe it's a different sign," I muttered.

"Naw," Missy stretched and twisted her hair to wring the the water. "Tastes like 1874."

"It _tastes_?" 1874. Great. Right location. Wrong time.

"Yes. Do keep up." Without further ado, she skipped past me, wringing out her skirt now, and across the bridge.

"Where are you going?"

"London!" She whooped and threw her hands in the air at the other side of the bridge. "Well?" she gestured for me impatiently and I scowled.

"Who said I wanted to go with _you_?"

Dramatically, Missy mimed a blow at her heart. "Oh, you _wound_ me. If you wanted to be alone, you should have left me in India! Now you're stuck with me!" She stuck out her tongue and I had to admit (grudgingly) that was was right. For now, there was nothing to do but stick together. Besides, she was useful when it came to those ruddy headaches.

Crossing my arms across my wet shirt, I followed her over the bridge. "Come on." I muttered, "Let's go find somewhere to get dry."

* * *

We arrived at the doorstep of an expansive, Gothic house with an imposing gate and black doors. Brick walls were clung to by ivy and birds stirred in nests in the eaves. Missy was enthralled. Mouth open, she spun in a circle with her arms extended. "Now this is style, Sherly."

"Never call me that."

"Picky, picky," She tossed her tangled hair over her shoulder with a pouting lip. "I assume I'm expected to act civil."

"That would be appreciated. Since we need their help." I approached the front door, feeling a strange pulse somewhere in my chest. I paused. This was the right place. We ought to be here, I was certain. Missy appraised me curiously but I shrugged away her silent question and knocked solidly.

We did not have to wait long. The door creaked open, and I peered closely at the short butler. I had adopted a suitably miserable expression appropriate for the situation, but this man would hardly be impressed by such theater.

"State your purpose," the short butler barked. A military man at one point, I guessed. He was absurdly tan for this climate and had a strangely stocky build. How did he end up as a butler?

"We're a bit lost, actually," I said with a rueful smile. "My name is Sherlock Holmes and this is Missy. We had a rather intimate acquaintance with the lake. Really ought to have brought a lamp..."

The butler squinted up at me and suddenly shut the door in our faces. I blinked at the abruptness and grunted, deadpan, "Heartwarming."

Missy shrugged beside me. She had her arms wrapped around herself. "Well, you could hardly expect anything else from a Sontaran. I'm astonished he didn't shoot us dead."

I turned on her. "A Sontaran."

"Oh, yes," she continued boredly. "Very violent species. Not very clever but point them in the right direction, and they are quite handy."

"An alien? You didn't think to mention this before?"

"Of course I did, but it's rather rude to go about yaping on someone's species right in front of them." Missy sniffed the air. "You ought to know, while we're talking about such things, that we are not currently in your universe at all."

Missy was quite unaffected by my icy glare. "We're in another universe?"

"Parallel. My world."

"And this just 'didn't come up'," I drawled. How did we end up in another universe anyway?

"Wasn't important when I was saving your arse."

 _The little imp._ "I was perfectly capable of-"

Suddenly the door flew open. "I'll have you know, you are very late."

We both blinked. Silhouetted in the fireplace stood an elegant woman dressed in black. She had a black veil draped entirely over her features. "You know me," I said, surprised. Apparently landing here was not a coincidence. Should I have even thought it would be at this point?

"Of course. Do come in." Carefully, we entered. The house was warm and gentle and the woman in black lead us to a sitting room filled with exotic plants. "We got your letter last month. I really did think it was a hoax at first but then Jenny made the observation that no prankster would dare... and then there was that time you dressed up like- but no matter. Besides, no one else knows of my peculiar history, not to mention Strax's." She peered closely at me. "I am not an expert, but you do seem to be flying through these faces rather fast."

I cocked my head, momentarily thrown. Faces?

Beside me, Missy snickered. "She think's you're him."

Him? Him. Who? Oh. _Him_. What were the chances?

I cursed to myself silently again. _They aren't chances, you oaf._

The woman waited expectantly. "Well, yes. I quite clearly smell Time Lord."

"And I smell reptile." Missy smiled cheerily. She fake gagged, and then slapped a hand over her mouth. "Sorry, Sherly. Said I'd be civil."

But I could care less about her civility (or calling me Sherly) at the moment. The woman whipped back her veil impatiently. And she was quite clearly... reptilian.

 _Fascinating_. I was beyond being surprised by anything at this point. I rolled my eyes. "Are there _any_ humans around here?"

A small form that previously had sort of blended in with the background gave a little wave. She had a pleasant face and a kind smile and was quite clearly not just a maid to the woman of the house. "I'm Jenny," she said. "the sole rep'sation of us lot at the moment."

Excluding myself, of course. Well... I sort of counted. Burying that thought, I clasped my hands behind my back and said slowly. "I probably should clarify that I'm not the Doctor."

The reptile blinked. "Well," she placed a hand on her hip. "There is most definitely a Time Lord here so-"

"Hello," Missy gave a little wiggle of her fingers. "Time Lady, actually. You're... Vastra, are you not?"

The woman, Vastra, apparently, had adopted a look of utter appall. "He's not... _She's_ not him, is she?"

Missy snorted. "There is more than one Time Lord in existence, you know. I'm rather offended you haven't heard of me."

I glared at her. Bringing attention to her identity was really not in our advantage. "Miss-"

"No, hush, Tardi."

"Do not _hush_ me."

"Silence!" the butler barked. He'd somehow procured a weapon. "Or you shall be destroyed!"

Vastra and Jenny both rolled their eyes but everyone shut up. "Stand down, Strax," Vastra said wearily. She took a deep breath. "Let's start over, yes? How about we sit."

We obeyed, Missy managing to sit next to me so that her vibrating body shook the entire bench. I nudged her knee with my hand, and she stilled.

Vastra looked at us coolly. "I feel that neither of you mean us harm, a startling thought if she is who she implies." Missy grinned impishly at this, and Vastra addressed her. "I was under the impression that you were dead, not to mention dangerously insane. However, your mind seems rather settled to me." So she _had_ heard of her.

"Yes, and yes," Missy answered with nods.

There was an awkward silence as they waited for her to elaborate, and when it didn't happen, I opened my mouth. "Missy has a better grip on her sanity the longer I'm around, it seems. It's complicated"

Missy thumbed me. "Isn't he clever? Figured that out all on his own. Course, I gave him lots of clues."

"I was too busy trying to escape," I grumbled dryly, "to run an analysis on your mental state."

"Love it when you talk like a machine."

I pursed my lips and shut off that train of thought. "Anyway, she's Missy, and I'm Sherlock Holmes, and we'd really appreciate some dry clothes and a promise that you will not try to eat us."

Vastra blinked. "Curiouser and curiouser."

Jenny's eyes looked like they might fall out of her head if she stretched them any wider. "Sherlock Holmes. Like, _the_ Sherlock Holmes?"

"It's not a very common name, is it?" I murmured, flashing back to the first time I met the Doctor. I'd teleported for the first time and was terribly disoriented, only to find my hand being pumped like the man's life depended on it. I was fictional in the Doctor's universe. Yes, now I remembered. He'd been shocked to meet me. "I probably should also mention that I'm from a parallel universe. And from the twenty-first century."

"Oh?" Jenny said weakly."Obviously." She turned a careful look at Vastra. "They're telling the truth?"

"Shockingly."

The reptile woman could tell somehow. She'd said something about Missy's mind as well… A telepath? At this rate, the reptile probably was. She looked very close at us and then licked her lips thoughtfully. "I am sure there is a fascinating story behind all of this, and I hope to hear it. But first I need your solemn word that you mean no harm to anyone here. Especially you." She glanced pointedly at Missy. We gave our consent readily, and I got the feeling that Vastra would have known if we were lying (or if I was lying. I had no idea if Missy intended to harm them or not, although I rather doubted it). How much did Vastra know about the Time Lady? Either so little that she was ignorant enough to let Missy continue to exist under her roof, or enough that she was willing to give her a chance. I wasn't really sure where I fell myself on that spectrum, to be honest. Missy had killed people. But then again, so had I. And if she was insane, the situation became even more complex. What part of Missy was there that wasn't a raving lunatic? The part I saw now? She was strange, surely, but she was not murderous. And perhaps I was hypocritical for thinking about this. After all, I'd electrocuted an entire ship full of people and then killed the leader. Despicable creature though he was, I'd murdered him. My throat went dry at the thought. How unfortunate it was to have a conscience in lose-lose situations.

Taking a deep breath, I stored my thoughts in a cupboard and waited for Vastra to cast judgment. Finally, she spoke. "Jenny?"

"Yes?"

"Get our guests some dry clothes. And some food too. Do you eat?"

I smiled wearily, more relieved than I thought I would be. "Occasionally."

* * *

 ** _AN: Please leave a review._**


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